Rediscovered. Uncovered.

Used to be for a while that I'd wake up and groan about the forthcoming day, not looking forward to the challenges and complaints and confrontations that were definitely headed my way. I naively walked into the position of Head Complaint Handler, not truly realizing what I had gotten myself into~ and I was stuck, because .... well, one does not quit. Even though sometimes it would be so much easier to be a quitter, when you have family looking to you to be an exemplary example, you keep going and going until either there is a defined end, or the end jumps up and grabs you by the throat. Fortunately, I reached the deadline (ewww. I just realized I do not like that word. Are you dead by the time you reach the end of the line? ) I could walk away head held high, and walk away I have. When the doc tells you to slow down or die (there's that concept again), you listen. I have no desire to reach that 'deadline.' Ewww.

So, on a cheerier note, I am on a wonderful path of rediscovery or uncovery, which should be a word and maybe I'll write a new dictionary. I'll add that to the list of projects I'm working on! Subject being finding self again and projects; a project in and of myself/itself. Back in the olden days of child rearing and being relatively poor (for some reason I'm fascinated by language today. Were we poor because of relatives? ) Anyway, having few dollars and large family taught me to be creative in a lot of ways.

 I learned to sew because my husband wouldn't let me buy my baby girl a new little dress. He said 'we don't have the money and you have a sewing machine, so learn to sew.' Sew I did, so I did.  Started in 1976 with a baby dress of red cotton with a little white turtleneck. I wish I had had the foresight to keep that dress of Sara's. She was adorable in it (she's still adorable in red), and I could compare my humble beginnings to what I have learned over a few years. I plugged along and took a couple of classes like making T shirts for kids. I made all of my boys' little t shirts and their pants and shorts; I made swimsuits (wimmydoops in Family Speak); I made coats and costumes and fancy frilly dresses (one of Sara's had 35 yards of lace on it); I made Casey the coolest denim pullover jacket ever which somebody stole; I made imitation GAP schoolbags when my daughter yearned to have one and we couldn't afford to buy one downtown.  I made Scotty a teepee that we set up in the living room for a 'hiding place'.  I graduated into formals for the girls so they could be as beautiful as the girls in the store-bought dresses; I made Michelle's prom dress while moving from a big house into an apartment, and made her date a matching vest; I made Kyle the best Halloween costume ever; I made gifts and doll clothes and Halloween pumpkin bags and Thanksgiving turkeys and lots and lots and lots of fleece socks. (Scott timed me once  - from start to finish, I could make one pair in seven minutes.) I ventured into wedding dresses - and one of them actually beat me. Couldn't finish it, which broke my heart and disappointed my daughter, although we came up with another one that I sewed in three days while working full time. Last year I made wool capes for my grandsons and now some of the big kids want one too.

I learned to can and learned to cook because with a large family, four boys please note, they eat lots. And as they grow, they eat lots more. I guess I probably did okay because they're all still alive and fairly healthy, and Michelle calls me every so often for a recipe.

I learned to garden so I could can, and then realized how much I love the earth. I love to play in the dirt and put teensy seeds into a special spot cleared just for them, and watch them slowly turn into a beautiful plant.  This is worth a blog all of it's own~

I learned to tole paint for fun, and realized I'm not just a paint-by-number painter. I so admire real artists, because from just  a few classes I found that I looked at light and space in a whole new way. I still want to paint so I can find new eyes.

I learned to embroider and crochet and knit (sort of) because it's nice to be busy while I am still. And Scott needed the sound of my knitting needles to awaken from anesthesia years ago, so he could feel safe and secure knowing that Mom was there with him.

There have been practical reasons behind much of my creativity and I'm lucky that I had that balance. I learned to make art, in my own style, because I had to and then I began to love it. When there is no other option and the need is great, seems to me there is only one choice. Do. No cliche of Just Do It. Simply 'do.' Do something to solve the problem, find a way to make it work, to meet the need, to make a child happy. And in that moment of 'do', there is such a deep seated contentment and satisfaction.

The other day, I looked up the Boy Scout Law. I was thinking about a list of all the things I want to be when I grow up and about creating that list, but it's already been done quite well.
A Scout is:

• Trustworthy,
• Loyal,
• Helpful,
• Friendly,
• Courteous,
• Kind,
• Obedient,
• Cheerful,
• Thrifty,
• Brave,
• Clean,
• and Reverent.

So, this blog has not gone where I meant it to go at all. Within the meanderings of my thoughts today, I fully intended to write about how much I am enjoying uncovering my love of creativity, now that I have some time at home. Maybe the reflection of goal-oriented qualities which are inspirations and aspirations matters more on a day when I need to be helpful, resurrect being more thrifty, get busy on cleaning and cheerfully paint the hallway. =)  Reverence is easy - just look out the window at the beautiful fall day.

Oh and one more thing they should add to the Scout law - grateful. Uncovery makes me very grateful. Thanks to those who help me learn to be creative;  I am grateful to you.

What's Up with This?

Geeez Louise, I've gone to bed twice tonight and was so sleepy and soooooo tired, and yet, here I am. Couldn't even stay awake for Antiques Roadshow the first time and headed up the stairs happily anticipating a snuggly bed and sweet dreams, but then the tossing and turning began.

My nightly ritual is to lean back and settle onto my wonderful old pillow that's losing more fluff with every day; it is easy to push and pull and squeeze into the most comfy shapes. Then, I turn onto my right side for a while and just before I know I'm going to doze off, turn onto my left side and float away into sleep. Oh, and beginning the process, put on my Darth Vader mask.

The other night Mark missed a great chance - I said 'Night Yoda' fully leaving the opportunity open for him to say in return 'Night Darth' and he was already starting to buzz. He doesn't usually snore as much as he just buzzes. I, on the other hand, breathe like I'm having the life force sucked out of me so when I say 'Night Yoda', it sounds more like 'Dight Nona'. The joys of a CPAP machine....

However, tonight nothing is working. Is  it that humongo turkey burger Mark made for dinner tonight? Pumpkin pie with white lipped cream? Hearing some news that is a bit disturbing (and in a sick way, kind of humorous?) Watching too many horror movie clips tonight (I will never EVER eat slit plea soup again?) Who knows? All I do know for sure is that while I'm yawning widely enough to split my jaw in two, I can't turn off my brain. Mark buzzes breathing; I buzz notsleeping. And for some wacko reason, my words have been getting mixed up all day, as you may have noticed with white lipped cream and slit plea soup? Maybe I've got a migraine headed my way, LOL. Pun pun pun.

Oh wow, I really do need to go to sleep. Now I've taken 3 aspirins and a calcium magnesium pill too, because they're both supposed to help  - aspirin for aggravated knee and cal-mag because it settles and calms frazzled nerves. Now, if there was only a magic potion for tossing and turning... I know what I'll do. Anybody ever read the book of Isaiah in the Bible? Most boring bit of anything ever written and it used to put me right to sleep. If it works, I'll be able to quote the 'begats' in the morning!  Isaiah begat Whosit, who slept for 20 years ~ or was that somebody else? sure not me!

Pondering Tomorrow

Tomorrow is October 22, my 55th birthday ~ and it is a record day for a few reasons: first of course, being 'double nickels' which has to mean something incredible within numerology. I don't know what, but I choose to believe that it is a sign of a happy, peaceful year ahead. 

Next, it means I have outlived my mother who died during her 54th year, and considering this, I truly realize how much she missed, and how much I miss her. Not a day goes by nor has gone by since October 7, 1978, that I do not think of her, or catch a quick glimpse of her face in the reflection of my own in a mirror. Funny, how even though my life has been incredibly different from hers...I hold precious the standards and values she taught me simply because they came from her. I think of her when I see a thing of true beauty because she taught me to appreciate  the natural world at a very young age; I think of her when I hear 40's music and remember that she told me she had such a crush on 'old blue eyes, Frank Sinatra.' And then she'd giggle like a school girl. When I see Dustin's eyes, I see hers  - the same bluegray with goodness and mischief twinkling through, although.... when I was in trouble, those eyes could be very piercing and see right through my naughtiness.

I learned to be a lady from my mother who was proper but fun; prim but could let loose and sing or laugh; and loving loving loving. She brought joy to the holidays through the smallest things and always made sure there was abundance despite a budget that was generally very limited. I never felt cheated out of anything even though my friends might have had 'more', because my mother was magical and knew how to make all events special. Maybe she learned it from her mother, Grandma Katie Maddox, because they were so poor during my mother's childhood, but Grandma found ways to provide for her children and teach them gratitude for the smallest blessing.

Right before my 16th birthday, my mother had taken her yearly trip to St. Louis to see her mother and sisters and she brought home a gift I will never forget. My Grandma, who was 80 years old, sent me sixteen sugar cookies in a pringles potato chip can. Even a selfish 16 year old who was focused on social life, boys, and new outfits could pause and be moved by a simple gift of love. I think those cookies are my most memorable birthday gift ever, although I've had many that come close.

My birthday party is Sunday afternoon, and my kids will be here with the wee ones who are such gifts themselves. I'll look at Dustin's eyes and see the sparkle of blue; reflect on the lovely gift that Sara sent me with the same loving consideration she inherited from her grandmother; and take pause. Give thanks. Use the pinecone china that my mother adored and I inherited from her because I too collect pinecones, just like my mama. And I have her chickens and her childhood piggy banks and her wedding rings and ... the most important, a part of her within me, and I can see her in my family.

I would give anything for her to be here on Sunday, my sweet mother who would be 87 years old now, and probably frail. But to see her eyes shine when she watched the babies and listened to Gideon's stories and snuggled a moment with Ephraim and looked at Levi's eyes - just the same blue as hers... my heart will never stop wishing and aching. 

Oh but wait, there is no need for ache because in each of us, in Doug and Jenn and Eric and Sam, and in all of my own family~ she is here. Savoring the time and the jokes and laughter and the love.  Her spirit surrounds us each day and guides us in our choices because as we all know, there is nothing more powerful than a mother's love.

My traditional birthday 'cake' is pumpkin pie, but maybe this year, I'll make sugar cookies for my family. And we will celebrate the women who taught me how to make them and how to love. Happy Birthday to me, and thank you Mama. I miss you.

Down on the Farm

Last Saturday, Scott and Cody went to the Portland Temple to be sealed, and since it was such a blessing day, I offered to babysit all the grandkids so all the parents could attend. PrairieDawn isn't taking a bottle yet, so she went with Mom and Dad, and her Grandpa Gary babysat her right there at the temple so he had easy and quick access to her mama. :)
Fortunately, Mark, Connor, Sarah and Kyle offered (mostly) to go along with me and the kids to Bauman Farms' Harvest Fest, which is like Disneyland Down Home.

So, in two large vehicles - Ford Expedition and Chevy Suburban - we headed to the farm, along with about three thousand other pumpkin lovers. It was shocking to see the parking lot of the farm so full, and it was then that I began thinking 'what have I got us into?' But, the kids were excited and we were committed - and by then, Simeon-who-worships-tractors had spotted one and was building up a full head of steam to see the 'twactoos'!

We bought our tickets, and then divided into strategic groups: Sarah and Kyle took Gideon and Ephraim and immediately headed for the zip line while the rest of us started to go in three different directions with Levi, Anna and Simeon. It's pretty amazing how determined two and four year olds can be once they see something they want to do. Let's just say it was a true hands-on experience for Poppy, Grammy and Uncle Connor.

Levi found a mountain of hay bales and scampered up to the top with ease, while Anna and Simeon initially needed a boost. Anna likes to follow Levi, trusting in her big brother, but if he's not around, Simeon takes over as the leader. Levi chose to get in line for the huge slide made of a very long water pipe (PVC) suspended from the top story of the barn. I was surprised that he would take such a risk all by himself, but he insisted. So, anxious Grammy watched him climb the stairs all by himself, and turned around to see Simeon disappear into the dark maze built under the haybales with Anna right behind. Aaah! Watch Levi, grab babies, watch Levi, call for help, watch Levi, Mark's at the end of the slide ready to get a picture of Levi, Simeon's gone  - Connor  - help! Watch Levi, Connor goes after Simeon, Anna wants out, Levi's in the slide, Anna wants in. Connor holds nervous Anna's little hand and spots Simeon happily working his independent way through the maze, down comes beaming Levi, where in the heck are the little kids? Out they pop with with Uncle Connor who looks at Grammy with revenge in his eyes - how could you send me in there with BOTH of them? Sheepish Grammy....

We regroup and Connor wants to try the apple cannon, so he and Mark go off that way. What???? Alone!! Levi desperately wants to try the yellow jumping pillow, so we get in line for that, sort of. Simeon is adventurous, have I mentioned that? Anna is pretty much glued to my leg, thank goodness, but Simeon's a whole different story. We wait and we wait and we wait, and I chase and I grab and even Levi can't keep up with Simeon... I give up on the line and call Poppy Mark - where ARE you? I can't do this by myself! We head over to the jumping house which is set up in a greenhouse. Wait in that line for a while and then finally get to enter, and thankfully, meet up with Gideon and Ephraim.

There should be signs outside of jumping houses. No one under the age of four allowed, or under at least three feet tall. Chubby two year olds struggle to climb the first obstacle and are pushed from behind by struggling big brothers and pulled from above by kind older girls who see the dilemma with two two year olds who aren't quite sure if they are having fun or not. Well, the slide off the obstacle was great, but then there's another line to climb yet a higher obstacle. This isn't gonna work and it's about 85 degrees and getting hotter in the greenhouse. Poppy and Grammy are melting... and Anna doesn't have a ton of patience in lines. Hmmm.... Grammy finds a detour, removes reluctant two year olds from line and inserts them into the latter jumping room, where they begin to jump and squeal and laugh. Oh good, and the big boys have Levi with them and they climb and slide and jump along happily. Then Simeon decides to go under and through the other obstacles, so he's out of sight and Anna's still happily jumping where she was. Watch Anna, search for Simeon, watch Anna, search for Simeon - oh, there he is! Where'd Anna go? Crawling under the obstacle, she gets stuck. She is smack in the middle of the jumping room and just barely out of reach... but Simeon bounces next to her which releases the pressure and she can get out. Sigh.... back and forth they go, and so does Grammy who is suffering from the extreme heat of the greenhouse and exertions of dashing back and forth after the little ones. We had such fun in the jumping house!

More to follow. I gotta go to work. To rest.....

Good Morning?

Why oh why am I up so early? Mark is an early bird but I'm more of a middle-of-the-morning kind of gal, so getting up at 5:00 a.m. is a foreign concept. I think I've watched the morning news about three times now, so figured it was time to move on to something else - like blogging.

I stopped by Kyle and Sarah's for a minute last night, and it was a sweet visit. They have been canning and showed me their bounty of jarsfull, and then shared ! I came home with canned tomatoes, salsa, pickled beans and blackberry freezer jam, along with a beautiful assortment of gourds and squash in a harvest basket! It was so much fun to listen to them talk about their first canning experience and to hear the excitement in their voices, and some pride too. They still have apples and grapes to do. :)

Casey's been wanting to borrow my wheat grinder too, so they can make some whole wheat bread. Sharon and Gideon made bread for our last family dinner, and it was very good so I'm more than happy to loan them a tool that will help them make more! :)

Sara called on Sunday - YAY!!! We hadn't been able to really talk since July, so we had such a good long chat. She had just finished prepping for a winter container gardening class she is doing, and she is happily working in the floral department at Whole Foods so that she can keep her hands on some plants. :)

When I reflected on these conversations with my kids, I realized that maybe a little bit of their upbringing did have an affect on them. I used to open the doors of our pantry simply to admire the jarsfull of jam and veggies and fruit, and I told the children that the jars glistening with colorfully canned healthy foods were my 'jewels' because I knew of the riches we had. The biggest accomplishment was the day we gathered up the neighborhood kids to assist with making applesauce from our six apple trees, and we canned over 120 quarts in one day - a VERY long day.

For a couple of years when they were all younger, I baked our bread on a regular basis. Experimenting with seeds and grains, and sharing the mixing and kneading with my little boy created much more than a sustainingly delicious loaf. The memories that Scott and I share are funny and priceless - he would knead his little piece of dough while I worked enough to make two big loaves, and we could tell that the bread was ready to bake when it looked just like the skin on my arms, because they are very white with lots of freckles. LOL Whole wheat dough has lots of speckles. He was in charge of informing me when it was just right. After it baked, and the house was full of the aroma, the big kids would come home from home and everyone wanted a slice. Even the neighbors benefitted when I had plenty to share.

Being in the garden when they were younger wasn't something they all really enjoyed because it seemed like such work, but now they look back at that time as somewhat magical. Our lives' rhythym would adjust to the harvest of fruit from our trees and veggies from the garden, and yes, hours and hours of canning and freezing. Tending the plants and trees was a big job, important to a large family who depended on the successful gleaning to get through the winter.

I'm not taking credit for their appreciation of the things we did during their childhood, but I like to know that maybe some of it comes from shared memories of time when we worked side by side, and the traditions we created. No opening our canned grape juice until Thanksgiving dinner; blueberry pancakes for the 4th of July; warm sweet applesauce with cream and so on.

Good memories. Good traditions. Happy satisfaction to share their accomplishments now.

Fall in the Air

Such a relief to smell the scent of the changing seasons; to have respite from the heat; to enjoy chilly nights and cooler days, yet just a week ago it was in the 90s and we had the babypool out for the wee ones to splash in! Anna and Simeon went 'skinnydipping' after dinner.  They were having such fun!

Today started out with excitement; Mark was trimming a Japanese Maple by the back door and a yellow jacket nest erupted forth with angry stinging bees. He was stung on his arm, his neck and several times on the top of his head. Grimmy had them clinging all over him and they stung him too. I stayed clear and avoided it, thank goodness. Mark took benadryl, had a good nap, but still has a headache. It will be tough to be a rockin' Boomer tonight.

So, since we avoided the backyard all day, I actually decided to cook! Made some turkey burger stew and cinnamon chip bread. Sliced up wateymelon and cantylope for snacks. Then cleaned the frig, did laundry and started organizing the garage some more. It needs more work, but more shelves first. It's getting there, and in the process, I'm feeling more at home here too. 

Yesterday I bought a really cute white dresser to refinish to put in the hallway; it's does not have very deep drawers, so will work fine without obstructing the traffic. It will be great once the hallway is painted and I get pictures up. Anxious to finish it!  The dining room is painted a medium tan on one wall and 'champagne' on the other three walls. Dustin hung our new light fixture and it looks great. The French doors are a huge improvement for that room.

Organizing feels good. I need the structure of a schedule and I'm looking forward to that.

And speaking of schedules, we started Family Dinners again last week. Had all the 'local' kids over for a potluck salad dinner and good long visit. It's so great to have all of four of my sons in the same area again! Connor had a good time hanging out with the older guys, but Levi has a serious case of hero worship of Connor, who was very patient and at the same time didn't quite know what to do about that level of pedastal. :) And of course, Gideon is happiest if he is reading, and Ephraim loves to explore. Anna wasn't too sure about Grimmy, but relaxed when everyone else was outside with her. PrairieDawn is starting to smile a lot and is a happy baby. Simeon, oh my, is a hoot. He kept us all chuckling most of the time with his activity and gobbledygook speech that is delivered with such sweetness and sincerity.  A most satisfying afternoon for this Grammy, being surrounded with love. Just missed the rest of us~

I'm looking forward to more Family Dinners this fall and winter. Best times ever!

A New NameHusbandHouseJobFamilyGardenAndDog

Don't quite know how else to describe the changes in life besides making a long long list of them. :) It's a little overwhelming and my body is letting me know by giving me hives for fits and giggles, which I do not love.

What or whom I DO love though is my new and definitely improved hubby, who made me laugh so hard when we were on the ferry from Friday Harbor after he banged my head into the window... well, I guess you just had to be there. At Nancy and Dale's wedding, we had a blast the whole evening even though he did forget to ask me to dance when 'At Last' was played. He made up for it though, and had the DJ play 'Me and Mrs. Jones'. THEN we danced, and laughed more.

My new name is gaining me a new nickname 'JJ', of course. It's fine, but will take some getting used to, and I'm still surprised when I see Jones and remember that it's me! I had to make a nameplate for my desk today, so that I don't confuse staff as they return to work. I hope I get an officially engraved nameplate soon, but for now, my bright yellow with purple lettering ought to catch some attention.

New house is still in uproar and will continue to be so for a while, I fear. I haven't finished the transfer from my house to this one but the deadline is looming closer and closer. I might have to break down and ask the fam to help me out the weekend of the 12/13th. Hint hint hint. Eventually we'll get things organized better here and find a place for it all. The garage is looking pretty spiffy after our work last weekend, so there's hope.  Also, the patio cover is going to be amazing when it's finished. An outdoor living room! Yay!!!

Old and new job is kind of a weird feeling because I've been in this same department three times now and know a couple of things about the job and many of the staff. It's very comforting to go back there and it's really weird to not be taking work home with me! LOVE IT!

New fam and dog isn't really new because I've been here so much, but we'll all still have some adjustments to work through. We'll be fine~

New garden - after having been in Victoria, B.C. and after visiting Butchart Gardens, the yard and garden here have a lot of redesign to go through before I'll be satisfied. Oh my goodness, flowers were everywhere, and they grow the biggest raspberries I've ever seen. I have plans...and plans !

So, time to change clothes and go water. Time to dream of more flowers and make some more work to do. Silly me, but the payoff will be great. Maybe playing in the dirt will make the hives go away if my mind can convince my body that all these changes just take time. And there's always plenty of time in the garden~

One More Day~

WooooooooooooHooooooooooo!  If The Boomers played all day, I'd probably dance all day. Maybe I'll just dance all day anyway, with the occasional pause for reflection...

Jane and I had lunch and did a lot of remembering when....we started this run of four years....when we bucked old beliefs and did what we thought was the right thing to do during a strike...when we stood up to other leaders and said 'it is about the kids; not the money'...when we faced incredibly difficult personal battles, but kept on facing professional battles simultaneously~and then only crumbled privately...when we laughed over ridiculous stories....when we cried over assaults...when we bonded as friends forever through the joint experiences of our leadership positions because no one else could truly understand what it took to do the job.

Our skills complemented each other - Jane is politically savvy and very talented at being a more public persona; I'm a little more subdued in public, will never understand why ANYONE would want a political career :), and can usually see both sides of a story. We have borrowed advice and counsel from the other frequently and occasionally felt like Tweedle Dum and Tweedle Dee when in uncomfortable situations. Never have decided who was Dum and who was Dee though.

So, a jig? A Highland Fling? A waltz or foxtrot? The watusi or mashed potato?

Or a slow two-step, perhaps, with my friend Jane while we wear our battered gold sequin crowns upside down and laugh. And cry, as we share one more hug, and head out the door.

Thank you Jane, for everything.

I Found It! and You Can Have It Now~

Woooohoooo! I found my old blog. I hadn't been on for quite a while and just couldn't remember the address. Write it down somewhere? Gosh, why would I want to do that?   Anyhow, I loved this in the past when Michelle would post pictures and stories, and would still like the whole fam to contribute~ HINT.

I need to be getting ready for work because I have a bargaining meeting this morning, then lunch with my good friend Jane. Jane and I walk out of our offices, fully crowned, arm-in-arm to end our presidential terms simultaneously next Tuesday. I will hand off the baton to the new ESP president and Jane will do the same to the new teachers' president, and off we go back to the future. We have shared so much in these past four years that no one else could possibly believe or understand - from a week at Harvard University to hospital stays to cat attacks to accusations and then our gold sequined crowns, a little battered.  We have bought cowboy boots together in Nashville and battled snow in Salem; we got 'lost' in Boston (and almost suffered heat stroke), and grew BATs.  We have presented the Speed of Trust together and dreamed of the day we could take it on the road. Our grand plans have settled a bit, and we have decided that burnout is burnout, and our flames are dimming. Passion needs a respite now and then, and we have both been vocal about our strong opinions on advocacy; our voices are fading. Time to go 'home' for a while.

The transition feels very odd; I went to Student Services yesterday and my memory was on overload. So much to remember and so much to learn, but I'll get by. The crew there is the best and they'll pull me along while I readjust to the joy of an 8 hour day and an hour for lunch. (Another thing Jane and I have in common - long long days. Lunch hour? Breaks? Ha!)

It will be a little hard to give up the freedom to come and go as needed. It will be a little hard to sit in the 'congregation' during Building Rep meetings or Executive Board meetings. It will be a little hard to read a newsletter that I didn't write; to check a website that doesn't have my blog. Now, on the other hand, it won't be hard to sit in the congregation, nor will it be hard to stay at work and not have a variety of meetings that demand quick changes and quicker decisions. Phone calls? Emails? Nah, won't miss those.

What I will miss: service to almost 2400 people who may or may not believe that I have their best interests at heart. I will miss the feeling of satisfaction that comes after I have made a stand on one person's behalf, or on everyone's behalf. I will greatly miss spending time with those who are my mentors, my executive committee, and my friends.

But, it's time. I think I will buy a baton (or a baseball bat!) to hand to the new President. "Here you go - wield it well."