Rediscovered. Uncovered.

Used to be for a while that I'd wake up and groan about the forthcoming day, not looking forward to the challenges and complaints and confrontations that were definitely headed my way. I naively walked into the position of Head Complaint Handler, not truly realizing what I had gotten myself into~ and I was stuck, because .... well, one does not quit. Even though sometimes it would be so much easier to be a quitter, when you have family looking to you to be an exemplary example, you keep going and going until either there is a defined end, or the end jumps up and grabs you by the throat. Fortunately, I reached the deadline (ewww. I just realized I do not like that word. Are you dead by the time you reach the end of the line? ) I could walk away head held high, and walk away I have. When the doc tells you to slow down or die (there's that concept again), you listen. I have no desire to reach that 'deadline.' Ewww.

So, on a cheerier note, I am on a wonderful path of rediscovery or uncovery, which should be a word and maybe I'll write a new dictionary. I'll add that to the list of projects I'm working on! Subject being finding self again and projects; a project in and of myself/itself. Back in the olden days of child rearing and being relatively poor (for some reason I'm fascinated by language today. Were we poor because of relatives? ) Anyway, having few dollars and large family taught me to be creative in a lot of ways.

 I learned to sew because my husband wouldn't let me buy my baby girl a new little dress. He said 'we don't have the money and you have a sewing machine, so learn to sew.' Sew I did, so I did.  Started in 1976 with a baby dress of red cotton with a little white turtleneck. I wish I had had the foresight to keep that dress of Sara's. She was adorable in it (she's still adorable in red), and I could compare my humble beginnings to what I have learned over a few years. I plugged along and took a couple of classes like making T shirts for kids. I made all of my boys' little t shirts and their pants and shorts; I made swimsuits (wimmydoops in Family Speak); I made coats and costumes and fancy frilly dresses (one of Sara's had 35 yards of lace on it); I made Casey the coolest denim pullover jacket ever which somebody stole; I made imitation GAP schoolbags when my daughter yearned to have one and we couldn't afford to buy one downtown.  I made Scotty a teepee that we set up in the living room for a 'hiding place'.  I graduated into formals for the girls so they could be as beautiful as the girls in the store-bought dresses; I made Michelle's prom dress while moving from a big house into an apartment, and made her date a matching vest; I made Kyle the best Halloween costume ever; I made gifts and doll clothes and Halloween pumpkin bags and Thanksgiving turkeys and lots and lots and lots of fleece socks. (Scott timed me once  - from start to finish, I could make one pair in seven minutes.) I ventured into wedding dresses - and one of them actually beat me. Couldn't finish it, which broke my heart and disappointed my daughter, although we came up with another one that I sewed in three days while working full time. Last year I made wool capes for my grandsons and now some of the big kids want one too.

I learned to can and learned to cook because with a large family, four boys please note, they eat lots. And as they grow, they eat lots more. I guess I probably did okay because they're all still alive and fairly healthy, and Michelle calls me every so often for a recipe.

I learned to garden so I could can, and then realized how much I love the earth. I love to play in the dirt and put teensy seeds into a special spot cleared just for them, and watch them slowly turn into a beautiful plant.  This is worth a blog all of it's own~

I learned to tole paint for fun, and realized I'm not just a paint-by-number painter. I so admire real artists, because from just  a few classes I found that I looked at light and space in a whole new way. I still want to paint so I can find new eyes.

I learned to embroider and crochet and knit (sort of) because it's nice to be busy while I am still. And Scott needed the sound of my knitting needles to awaken from anesthesia years ago, so he could feel safe and secure knowing that Mom was there with him.

There have been practical reasons behind much of my creativity and I'm lucky that I had that balance. I learned to make art, in my own style, because I had to and then I began to love it. When there is no other option and the need is great, seems to me there is only one choice. Do. No cliche of Just Do It. Simply 'do.' Do something to solve the problem, find a way to make it work, to meet the need, to make a child happy. And in that moment of 'do', there is such a deep seated contentment and satisfaction.

The other day, I looked up the Boy Scout Law. I was thinking about a list of all the things I want to be when I grow up and about creating that list, but it's already been done quite well.
A Scout is:

• Trustworthy,
• Loyal,
• Helpful,
• Friendly,
• Courteous,
• Kind,
• Obedient,
• Cheerful,
• Thrifty,
• Brave,
• Clean,
• and Reverent.

So, this blog has not gone where I meant it to go at all. Within the meanderings of my thoughts today, I fully intended to write about how much I am enjoying uncovering my love of creativity, now that I have some time at home. Maybe the reflection of goal-oriented qualities which are inspirations and aspirations matters more on a day when I need to be helpful, resurrect being more thrifty, get busy on cleaning and cheerfully paint the hallway. =)  Reverence is easy - just look out the window at the beautiful fall day.

Oh and one more thing they should add to the Scout law - grateful. Uncovery makes me very grateful. Thanks to those who help me learn to be creative;  I am grateful to you.